It is now December 4th and I haven't finished this blog post. I think it's because it has been a very difficult year. Emotionally, physically, spiritually.
Let's see... what happened next?
I love my planners! I was introduced to them by my friend Jess. I think I have been using them for 4 or 5 years. I get them from Erin Condren. https://www.erincondren.com/referral/invite/susantorres1231
I had a goal for 2017 to switch to the calendar on my phone but in life some goals are best abandoned. My planner brings me joy. You can see that my mindset changed my cover. When I ordered 2017 I was all about achieving my goals. When I ordered 2018 I was all about self love. The reason for this digression is that I use my planner every day and it helps me to remember what happened next. Getting through to today is a little too overwhelming for me and probably too wordy for you. So, I will start where I left off and see how far we go. A new thing in my life is abandoning rules. This is one of those moments! :)
My mind is racing trying to change the topic to ANYTHING but this.
In March I was continuing acupuncture, yoga, massage, herbs. I thought for sure I would find something that would get me back to work. ASAP. I love my job but that is another digression. I'm using essential oils and I got an appointment with a neurologist to learn more about this new strange condition that I have.
Thursday, March 9, 2017 - I had an appointment with Dr. Joseph Watkins. I have never actually met him. I was met by a nice attractive blonde woman. I don't remember her name. There was a lot of waiting involved. She had a laptop. It wasn't working correctly. She was frustrated. She kept expressing frustration that the laptop wasn't working. She asked a lot of questions. Then she finally looked me in the eye and asked me why I was there. I was shocked because I explained this when I made the appointment. I told her I had Dysautonomia. She said, OK, but why are you here. I told her I just learned about my condition, I googled it, learned it was neurological and made an appointment with a neurologist. Then she asked me what I wanted them to do. I told her I wanted to be educated. I wanted to know what Dysautonomia was, Why I have it and What to do about it. She got quiet. She got frustrated with her computer and then excused herself. I was there for hours. With her repeating the process, quiet, frustration with computer, leaving the room. At one point when she left I burst into tears. I was having a difficult time composing myself. I took the following picture to try to reassure myself that I looked normal....
She finally came back. She explained to me that Dr Watkins was home sick. She was a physicians assistant. I want to express that I have nothing against physician's assistants or nurse practitioners. Sometimes they are better than the doctor that they work with. Anyway, she admitted that she didn't know what to do with me. She referred me to an autonomic clinic at the University of Utah and sent me on my way. She said I would hear from the clinic soon to schedule an appointment.
Monday, March 13, 2017 - my 25th wedding anniversary. I had planned to have a big party with Mariachis and all of my family and friends. I was so excited. Then we were going to spend some time in Guaymas, Sonora, Mexico. My husband has been wanting to go there and just sit on the beach. Did I mention that one of my goals this year was to only use my time off for fun stuff and not for being sick? ha! That didn't happen either. I still had hope at this point and I told my husband that we would do it in the summer. We haven't done it yet.
Thursday, March 16, 2017 - I went to see a new endocrinologist to see if he could help me figure out what was going on. We did not have a good first visit. I encountered once again the prejudice against diabetics that have a high a1c. Mine was around 9 at this point. He said that everything was because of my diabetes so he wouldn't even look into anything else. I was so frustrated. But it is so hard to get an endocrinologist I didn't want to get rid of him yet. We started insulin and a new drug called Bydureon. It is a once a week injection for diabetes. That was a nightmare.
Friday, March 17, 2017 - I went to the emergency room. I was in severe abdominal pain. Bydureon can cause pancreatitis. I was scared. They gave me IV fluids, ran a bunch of tests and sent me home. Happy Saint Patrick's Day.
I think we are just going to try to get through March in this post. It was a tough month.
Acupuncture on Monday.
Tuesday, March 21, 2017 - I wanted to see my gastroenterologist about the abdominal pain and nausea. I got his assistant, Abbie. We did not hit it off. I will not be seeing her again. But something nice I can say about her is that she ordered tests because I asked her to. She didn't agree with me but she did listen.
Wednesday, March 22, 2017 - Dr Frech (gastroenterologist) did an upper endoscopy. That is when they put you to sleep and put a camera down your throat into your stomach and small intestine. He didn't find a cause for my pain. He said there was bile in my stomach and polyps in my esophagus. He said the polyps are normal for someone that has been taking medication for acid reflux for years. He said the risk of not taking the medication outweighed the risk of the polyps and that it was nothing to worry about.
Thursday, March 23, 2017 - I had an abdominal CT scan. It did not find anything other than pneumonia. What? Well, I guess a little bit of lung got in the picture so they were able to see the pneumonia. I'm glad they were looking. I'm so used to being sick that it is hard to tell if there is an infection or not.
Friday, March 24, 2017 - I went to see my primary doctor. I saw her a LOT because of sinus infections, pneumonia, UTIs. I was in to see her every couple of weeks. She filled out all of my disability paperwork too.
The last week of March I saw my primary doctor twice, my endocrinologist once and the acupuncturist twice. I have a job. It is called Self Care. It's a full time job with no time off and no benefits.
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