I want to preface this by saying that I don't believe in GOD. Specifically the old man sitting in outer space watching to see what I do with my genitals. Pervert! I am an Earth person. I am no more important to the planet than a whale out in the ocean. I am also just as important to the planet as one of the beautiful redwood trees in California (that I still haven't seen yet). I believe we are all connected by energy. Even the rocks and bugs. We all have energy. I believe in science. I don't have a religion. I don't want one. Don't try to convert me. Please. I am very vulnerable and defensive about spiritual things right now. Ok. Here is goes.
When I was a child about 6 years old I had Rheumatic Fever. Everyone thought I was going to die. My mom still laments how hard it was to keep me in bed. The doctor said I had to stay in bed. My grandparents brought me gifts and visited me at my bedside. The needles! To diagnose me they had to try 7 times before they drew blood. I must have been dehydrated. Anyway, I had the faith of a child. I told my Mom that if the missionaries gave me a blessing I would be healed. So, the missionaries gave me a blessing and I was healed. When we went to the doctor for the follow up he said that he must have misdiagnosed me. I don't believe that. I believe that I had Rheumatic Fever and was healed. I believe there is a scientific explanation. I don't know what it is. Perhaps I responded really well to antibiotics? Perhaps my positive energy and belief in combination with the antibiotics created what seemed to be a miracle. I don't know.
That wasn't the only miraculous experience in my childhood. In the past people have used my childhood miracles as evidence that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is THE one and only true church. I discovered that this is offensive to my sensibilities (thank you Jane Austen). A miracle is something that happens that is not readily explained. I experience miracles every day. The light switch still blows my mind. Especially because I have taken one apart and seen how simple it is. To me it is proof of the energy in the Earth. It is a miracle to me that someone figured out how to harness it. I don't really get how it works. I know I could learn how it works. But I may forget again. Maybe I have learned before! I prefer to embrace my every day miracle. Miracles are not only in the lives of good people or religious people and certainly not only in the lives of members of one particular religion. Miracles are things that happen to everyone. What makes it a miracle is the way we choose to see it.
I did experience a miracle as a child. It was beautiful and wonderful. I am grateful. I don't worship any deity. I own my spirituality and my beliefs. I claim my miracles. I claim my spirituality. I respect everyone else's right to do the same.
The 11th article of faith of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints states:
We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
I am learning to keep the good things I learned. That article of faith is something that I believe in. I guess I would edit it to read:
I claim the privilege to worship no one or anyone, according to the dictates of my own conscience, and allow all beings the same privilege, let them worship how, where or what they may.
This journey is deeply personal, joyful and painful, and a whole lot longer than I realized. Processing this may take a lifetime.
Here's a picture I took of my mom at the beach. This is what a miracle looks like to me. Isn't it beautiful? :)
