Let’s talk about my waistline....
When I was 15 I had a 28 inch waist. I have been trying to get back there every time I have lost weight. I am now 50 and it’s not happening. Yesterday I accepted that it’s not because I am fat.
Yesterday I weighed myself and learned that I had accidentally lost 5 pounds. I was 5 pounds below my goal weight. That’s not good. Sarcoidosis and Dysautonomia can both cause weight loss. I have never needed to think about it before because I have been fat since before diagnosis.
I decided it was a great time to take my measurements! Of course I was comparing them to age 15. That was a learning experience.
Age 15 measurements:
Bust: 36
Waist: 28
Hips: 36
Age 50 measurements:
Bust: 37.5
Waist: 31.5
Hips: 36
Realization number one. I lost pounds but not inches. How is that even fair? My measurements at 130 pounds are exactly the same as my measurements at 135.
I know that I am not fat but my brain thinks that I must be.
How did my bust grow if my boobs are no longer perky. They are deflated balloons. My rib cage is 34 inches so that implies that I do have actual boobs. But I swear that they aren’t there!
My hips are the same which is also shocking because my butt is just sagging elephant skin now.
But the waist! I watched Scarlett O’Hara claim that only a 24 inch waist would do. I thought I was a big girl because mine was 28. Now it is 31.5. I must be a cow.
But I am not! I know I am not. I decided that maybe waists are supposed to get larger as we age. So, I googled it and learned a few things.
1. Muscles relax and expand with age.
2. Skin relaxes and expands with age.
3. If your spine is compressing from degenerative disc disease like me then as it makes you shorter your waist expands to make room for the stuff inside.
4. Hormones from menopause can add to your waist.
So there you go. Even if you have never been fat your waist is going to be larger at 50 than it was at 15. And that’s ok!
Exercise may help but it’s not guaranteed.
You have not done anything wrong.
I have normal 50 year old boobs.
I have a normal 50 year old waist.
I have a normal 50 year old butt.
I have a normal 50 year old body. With some extra conditions to deal with.
I am on a journey to love the body I am in. I actually felt prettier at 200 pounds than I do at 130 pounds. So I am working on me. I am seeing a therapist for body dysmorphia. I am telling the girl in the mirror that I love her and she’s perfect just the way she is.
The same goes for you! I love you! You are perfect just the way you are! Your value isn’t in a number on a scale or a measuring tape or a calendar. Your value is innate. You were born with it. I celebrate you and your body.
