Whole Food, Plant Based Eating - My New Hope

I am thinking of taking before pictures today. I cannot tell you how many times in my life I have taken before pictures. It is a LOT. A really BIG number. I can tell you how many times I have taken after pictures. Zero. I am continuously looking for improvement.

There are many reasons for this. One is that my health has been on a continuous decline pretty much since birth. One is that doing the same thing day after day is not in my nature. The reason that stands out is that it is difficult to appreciate my body for how it is today. 

So, while I am starting a new program, (and I am going to tell you ALL about that), I am going to take time to appreciate the beauty of my body and how amazing it is.

Let's start there. 

Regina Spektor sings in her song Folding Chair:

"I've got a perfect body, though sometimes I forget,
I've got a perfect body cause my eyelashes catch my sweat."

I am going to tell you what makes my body perfect. This is difficult because it is more in my nature to tell you everything that makes it imperfect. Everything that is wrong. But that is not the purpose of this exercise.

My oxygen saturation is nearly ALWAYS above 90%. That is miraculous with lung disease.

I am a dancer. I have had multiple neurologists watch me do their tests and say, "Are you a dancer?"

My eyes, hair, skin are not all one color. When I was little my mom said my hair was calico. It has been naturally red, blonde, brown and white. I have unnaturally made it various other colors too. My blue eyes have hints of brown and green and gray. I don't know what to call my skin color. It has pink undertones and lots of spots. Society calls me white but I have some white hair now and some white in my eyes and my skin is not that color. I AM a rainbow. 

My body wants to heal. It tells me immediately when it is unhappy. I recognize that things are wrong before the medical community does. My body talks to me.

My body wants to dance and sing and hike the grand canyon. My body has dreams. My body is a fighter. 

I was not born in my natural state. I was born sick. My natural state is health. I have been trying to get there my entire life.

I think I finally know how. 

The skeptics will say, "Come on Susie, how many times have we heard this. How many diets and exercise programs and supplements and medical professionals have you tried already?"

I have travelled across the country for help. I have seen so many doctors and even people outside of mainstream western medicine. If you could buy health I would have it. I have read countless books and blogs. I have watched YouTube videos and documentaries. 

What crazy thing am I trying now?

A Whole Food, Plant Based Diet (WFPB)

I know, I know, I tried it before. And you know what? My health was better then. 

I understand now why I quit. In episode 6 of the iThrive documentary series it explains how our cravings are there for our our survival. Getting through the initial craving phase is not the end! Periodically our brain will say, "Hey, remember that amazing food we haven't had in a long time? The one with a lot of calories that tasted really good? We need that. We need that right now! Go get it now!" It can happen months or years later even if you haven't been cheating. It is a biological function to ensure our survival. It reminds us of high calorie food sources. It doesn't make me a bad person or mean that I have no will power. It's simple science.

This time I have more knowledge and resources. I am going to document my progress and share my resources. 

What is different this time? 

I am going to avoid all animal products, oil and processed foods. They all recommend avoiding salt but because I have Dysautonomia I cannot do that yet. I hope to get to the point where I can but for now I take salt capsules. 

Last time, I ate processed foods and used oil and I think I ate too many grains. They say that if you are WFPB and aren't losing weight to cut the oil. 

Last time, my motivation was to lose weight and gain energy. This time, my motivation is survival. I want to live. 

Last time, I started because I watched the documentary Fat Sick and Nearly Dead so I was drinking a lot of juices. This time, I am limiting my juice intake. I am not cutting it out but I am focusing more on whole plants.

This time, I feel like I have a lot more knowledge. From everything that I have tried I have learned. I have learned about the human body. I have learned about myself. 

To prepare for this I was introduced to the Medical Medium and Mastering Diabetes and iThrive. It was in the iThrive facebook group that someone introduced me to the How Not to Die book. That was very impactful. I have been listening to books on Audible. After I listened to that one I bought the matching cookbook. Then I listened to Eat to Live and now I am finishing up the China Study. I never wanted to read that book because I don't like reading scientific papers even though I love science. But the book has been better than I anticipated. 

I am so grateful to all the people that have been working on this research so that I can benefit from the information. 

My last animal meal was on Wednesday, December 5th, 2018. Today is December 13th so I have been doing this for a week without cheating on purpose. I say it that way because as my eyes are opened I realize that there are things that I don't want to put in my body in places that I don't expect. Like corn syrup in gummies that I chew to avoid a virus or sugar and oil in the pasta sauce I bought. After my eyes are opened I don't use that product anymore. 

Last Wednesday, my husband and I went out for cheeseburgers and french fries. I had fry sauce (if you're not from Utah, it's basically ketchup mixed with mayo) and a chocolate/vanilla twist ice cream cone. That night I was in so much pain that I contemplated going to the Emergency department of the local hospital. Why didn't I? I didn't want to bother anyone, I was tired, I was in pain, I am a complicated chronically ill person and don't have a lot of faith in Emergency doctors finding the answers I need. So, I tossed and turned all night. 

The next day I woke up determined to figure out what was wrong and fix it. I had heard several times about water fasting. I knew from experience that not eating decreased the pain. I decided I would still have my coffee but I wouldn't eat until I could figure out what was going on. The pain was in the left upper quadrant of my abdomen. I know that is the location of the spleen and the liver. I know I have fatty liver and I could have granulomas from Sarcoidosis in my liver. I also know that my Sarcoidosis is worst in my lymphatic system. I had read that an enlarged spleen is fairly common in Sarcoidosis and that sometimes it needs to be removed. I did some Googling. It turns out the spleen is part of the lymphatic system. That makes sense. What kind of doctor takes care of a spleen?  I had my infusion that day so I asked my nurse. She said she thought it would be a hematologist and recommended one for me. I Googled it and she was right. 

I called my primary doctor and asked her to order a CT of my abdomen. I also called the Hematologist and asked for an appointment. They said I needed a referral. So, I called my doctor again and asked for a referral to the Hematologist. My doctor ordered the CT and sent the referral. I called the Hematologist office again to ask for an appointment. They said that he couldn't help me because I have Sarcoidosis. They said that if I had Lymphoma they could help me. I argued and explained about the spleen. They finally succumbed to making an appointment but made sure to point out that the doctor doesn't help people with Sarcoidosis. They recommended a Pulmonologist or a Rheumatologist. I explained that I have seen both of those doctors and that they can't help in this situation. There were lots of tears. I felt like they were telling me they didn't want to help me because I have a rare condition. I finally found the name of a Hematologist that treats people with Sarcoidosis but by then I was done for the day. 

The next day I had my CT done. It said my spleen was normal and that I had fatty liver. It confirmed that my lymph nodes were still enlarged. I cancelled the appointment with the Hematologist that didn't want to see me. I ended my fast with a smoothie on Friday evening. The pain was gone and so was my determination to receive medical care. 

I was fully 100% committed to a Whole Food, Plant Based diet. My new hope. My only hope. 

Hope is so important. When you are chronically ill, hope is in short supply. When your body rejects medication after medication and your insurance denies the only remaining treatment option, hope feels gone. 

On November 13th my mom shared a link for iThrive. I thought it was an MLM she was doing so I clicked on the link and signed up not knowing what it was because I wanted to be supportive. It ended up being a documentary series. They emailed me a link to a new episode each evening for 9 days. I watched them. Then I found myself not wanting to wait for the next episode. On the last day I bought the series. It came with a free copy that I gave to my mom. It changed my life. I started making little changes right away. 

In the one week I have been doing this completely I have noticed lower blood sugars, lower blood pressure and a lower heart rate. That is promising. :D

5'9" tall

204 pounds

(started at 211 pounds on 11/18/18)

45" waist around navel

My Christmas Wish

Photo by Victor Garcia on Unsplash

I am a 100% white American of European descent. That's what my DNA test from Ancestry.com tells me. The first 11 years of my life were in Maryvale, a part of Phoenix, Arizona. That was the 1970's. Our area was predominantly white. It was unusual to see someone that was a different color or from a different country. When I did, I usually made friends with them. We had derogatory names for people who were different and we told pollock jokes. I didn't know what any of that meant. I didn't even know what a pollock was. I had never heard of Poland.

My Grandparents made frequent trips to Mexico. They would bring me hand made gifts from their travels. I was the only little girl I knew that had crocheted sombreros for her Barbies. I remember making a derogatory remark about Mexicans. I was 6 years old. I didn't know better. I was repeating what I heard in my community. My Grandma educated me and told me that there were a lot of people in Mexico who were hard working Entrepreneurs. I knew what that was because my dad was a hard working Entrepreneur. She told me that a Mexican woman had taken the time to make those sombreros for my Barbies with her own hands. She told me that it was a beautiful place and that is why she enjoyed going there with my Grandpa.

I know now that not everyone had a Grandma like mine.

That area of Phoenix is now predominantly hispanic. If I were to move back, I would be the minority. And you know what? That is ok!

I grew up and married a Mexican. He has been a wonderful husband and Father. It hasn't been easy. Marriage is work. When you have 2 different cultures, that makes it more work. But again, that is ok. It is definitely worth it. Work is not bad.

My husband's family has become my family over the 26 years that we have been married. Some of them live in Mexico and some of them live in the United States. My husband's heart will always be Mexican. He loves the land of his birth. It is a part of him. He didn't want to become an American citizen because he didn't want to betray his homeland. He is a citizen now. Largely to appease my father. My father was worried that someday something may happen to separate us if we were not citizens of the same country.

Holidays are tough having family in 2 countries. Everyone wants to be together but it is often not possible. This Christmas my husband is driving his mom to a family gathering in Chihuahua, Mexico. I am not able to attend because my health is not strong enough for the trip. My mother in law is 87 years old. I watched her heart break when I told her that I would not be able to go to Mexico with her. She doesn't understand my disability because she has dementia. This will be the first Christmas apart for Antar and I in the 26 years and 9 months that we have been married.

Isn't that enough to make this Christmas a little challenging?

Well, I guess not because there is more.

The president of the US has threatened repeatedly to shut down the entire Mexican/American border and stop trade with Mexico. He actually did shut the border at Tijuana recently for around 7 hours affecting 90,000 people including American Citizens. There has always been a free zone when you enter Mexico. You could travel a certain distance from the border without a permit. That is not true right now.

When I watch the stories on the news, they don't make any sense.

I have family in Mexico that doesn't want to come to the US because they are afraid it is too dangerous. I have family in the US that don't want to travel to Mexico because they are afraid it is too dangerous.

This is not about blame. This is about me and my Christmas.

I was very young and idealistic when NAFTA first passed. I guess I still am. I thought it meant that we could come and go and do business with Mexico and Canada and be a big happy family. Like 3 countries united. Right? Wrong.

I am thinking of the Grinch. How his heart was too small but the whos in whoville were able to share the Christmas spirit and make his heart grow. That is my Christmas wish. The the little hearts will grow so that we can all be safe and happy and merry and I don't have to worry about my husband getting stuck in another country.

I wish all of you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Photo by Denise Johnson on Unsplash