I am a 100% white American of European descent. That's what my DNA test from Ancestry.com tells me. The first 11 years of my life were in Maryvale, a part of Phoenix, Arizona. That was the 1970's. Our area was predominantly white. It was unusual to see someone that was a different color or from a different country. When I did, I usually made friends with them. We had derogatory names for people who were different and we told pollock jokes. I didn't know what any of that meant. I didn't even know what a pollock was. I had never heard of Poland.
My Grandparents made frequent trips to Mexico. They would bring me hand made gifts from their travels. I was the only little girl I knew that had crocheted sombreros for her Barbies. I remember making a derogatory remark about Mexicans. I was 6 years old. I didn't know better. I was repeating what I heard in my community. My Grandma educated me and told me that there were a lot of people in Mexico who were hard working Entrepreneurs. I knew what that was because my dad was a hard working Entrepreneur. She told me that a Mexican woman had taken the time to make those sombreros for my Barbies with her own hands. She told me that it was a beautiful place and that is why she enjoyed going there with my Grandpa.
I know now that not everyone had a Grandma like mine.
That area of Phoenix is now predominantly hispanic. If I were to move back, I would be the minority. And you know what? That is ok!
I grew up and married a Mexican. He has been a wonderful husband and Father. It hasn't been easy. Marriage is work. When you have 2 different cultures, that makes it more work. But again, that is ok. It is definitely worth it. Work is not bad.
My husband's family has become my family over the 26 years that we have been married. Some of them live in Mexico and some of them live in the United States. My husband's heart will always be Mexican. He loves the land of his birth. It is a part of him. He didn't want to become an American citizen because he didn't want to betray his homeland. He is a citizen now. Largely to appease my father. My father was worried that someday something may happen to separate us if we were not citizens of the same country.
Holidays are tough having family in 2 countries. Everyone wants to be together but it is often not possible. This Christmas my husband is driving his mom to a family gathering in Chihuahua, Mexico. I am not able to attend because my health is not strong enough for the trip. My mother in law is 87 years old. I watched her heart break when I told her that I would not be able to go to Mexico with her. She doesn't understand my disability because she has dementia. This will be the first Christmas apart for Antar and I in the 26 years and 9 months that we have been married.
Isn't that enough to make this Christmas a little challenging?
Well, I guess not because there is more.
The president of the US has threatened repeatedly to shut down the entire Mexican/American border and stop trade with Mexico. He actually did shut the border at Tijuana recently for around 7 hours affecting 90,000 people including American Citizens. There has always been a free zone when you enter Mexico. You could travel a certain distance from the border without a permit. That is not true right now.
When I watch the stories on the news, they don't make any sense.
I have family in Mexico that doesn't want to come to the US because they are afraid it is too dangerous. I have family in the US that don't want to travel to Mexico because they are afraid it is too dangerous.
This is not about blame. This is about me and my Christmas.
I was very young and idealistic when NAFTA first passed. I guess I still am. I thought it meant that we could come and go and do business with Mexico and Canada and be a big happy family. Like 3 countries united. Right? Wrong.
I am thinking of the Grinch. How his heart was too small but the whos in whoville were able to share the Christmas spirit and make his heart grow. That is my Christmas wish. The the little hearts will grow so that we can all be safe and happy and merry and I don't have to worry about my husband getting stuck in another country.
I wish all of you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
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