Coffee - Why I drink it

I was raised Mormon and now I drink coffee. Aaaaack! If you have never been Mormon I don't know if you can grasp the gravity of that statement. But, of course, I will tell you a story.

Mormons and coffee: My parents joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in 1973. I was 2. I was baptized when I was 8. Coffee is such a big deal in the Mormon church that you cannot be baptized if you drink it and you have to promise not to drink it. Ever. I'm not going to get into why because this is not a post about religion. It is a post about me. Drinking coffee.

So, last fall, 2016, I went to see my Gastroenterologist. I have been plagued with liver problems for years. Once I had my primary doctor sit me down, look me in the eye, and ask, "Are you sure you don't drink?" I said, "NO!" Really? I am Mormon and Diabetic. I religiously and physically cannot tolerate alcohol. But she was worried that I had Cirrhosis of the Liver. She was surprised. I had an ultrasound and confirmed it was still just Fatty Liver Disease but it was pretty bad. That was in 2014, I think. Anyway in 2016 my liver enzymes are high again. ALT and AST. That is a sign of Liver problems and for me most likely Fatty Liver Disease. It used to be that Cirrhosis was a disease of alcoholics but these days it is a disease of our diet. And I don't think it's even our fault. There is High Fructose Corn Syrup in everything! Alcohol and Sugar are basically the same thing in our Liver.

So, my current doctor, Dr. Frech, tells me he wants me to start drinking coffee. I'm like, what?! He says that there are studies that show it is good for the Liver. It needs to be black drip coffee. Not espresso or any of the fancy drinks. No milk or sugar. One cup is good, 3 cups is best, but there is no added benefit in the 4th cup. Wow! That was a lot to take in. Mentally. But I liked that it was not pharmaceutical. So, I said I would do it.

I started by calling all of my children and my mother and letting them know that I was going to start drinking coffee. I told them it was doctor's orders. Which is the truth. I decided my Bishop didn't need to know. This was between me and my doctor and God.

How do you start drinking coffee??? My parents don't drink coffee. No one in my house drinks coffee. I have never really drank coffee. And now I need to start drinking it every day. I started by putting a LOT of thought into this.

My Grandparents always drank coffee. In fact when they would come to my parents house to celebrate a birthday they would bring instant because they said you can't have cake without coffee. I can't drink instant. It has to be drip. My Aunt and Uncle drink coffee but I never paid much attention and they aren't in the same state. I felt like I needed someone to hold my hand. I had a good friend at work named Brodie. He drank coffee. He walked to Starbucks every day, twice a day, and got coffee. I decided to ask Brodie for help.

So, the next time I went to work I told Brodie my dilemma and asked if I could go to Starbucks with him. I noticed that drinking coffee could be a social thing at work. Like smoking. I used to smoke. That's a whole other story. Anyway, I got to socialize with people that I didn't normally talk to because I would run into them with Brodie on our way to Starbucks. Sometimes I felt like I was intruding but they treated me like that was silly. Everyone was so nice. That first day at Starbucks was so scary. I was out of my element. I was in someone else's terrain. This was unfamiliar. What do I do?! So, I told the barrista(that's a person that works in a coffee shop) my dilemma. Fortunately there wasn't a terribly long line at that moment. She told me there are 3 main kinds of coffee. Light roast, medium roast and dark roast. My first step would be choosing one. She would give me tastes for free. So, I made three trips to Starbucks that day to taste coffee. The first one was Light. I thought that would be milder and easier to drink. I was wrong! It was so bitter! And the barrista told me it actually had the highest caffeine content. Gross! The second one was medium. It was tolerable. kinda. The last one was the dark roast. It was too strong. Whew! That was enough for one day. I had consumed 3 ounces of coffee. Not even half a cup.

The next day I went into Starbucks and bought a pretty pink cup and asked the barrista to fill it with Pike Place. That's the medium roast. I was so proud of myself. I had made a decision. Oh my gosh! It was so gross and so hot. Brodie told me that I can have ice in it. The ice helped. So, then I started asking them to put ice in it. Then we discussed alternatives to milk. I started asking them to put ice and almond milk in it. Then one of the barristas pointed out that there were seasonings on the counter. I tried all of them one at a time. It turned out I really like Cinnamon in my coffee. So I started adding Cinnamon and Splenda. I finally found a coffee I could tolerate and I sounded like those fancy coffee drinkers. I would order pike with ice and almond milk. Then I would add Splenda and Cinnamon. It took like a month to get to that point.

I ordered a coffee maker. That was crazy. I didn't even know where to start. In retrospect I spent way too much. I love my Ninja blender and discovered that they make a coffee maker. I bought a Ninja coffee maker with a coffee bean grinder. Don't ask how much it cost. It was ridiculous. I only use purified water in my coffee maker. I found Pike Place coffee beans at my local supermarket. The filters were crazy confusing. I realized recently that I have been buying the wrong size all this time. I just bought the right size and it works so much better. I had actually started cutting the other ones down a while back. haha. Then, figuring out how much coffee to put in the filter was daunting. It was trial and error. I use 3 little scoops(the coffee maker came with a scooper) in the grinder for my morning coffee. Then I had to choose the appropriate setting. The setting I use makes 15 ounces. My coffee maker came with special cups. I added ice, coffee, almond milk, splenda and cinnamon. That was my coffee. I would do that on the weekends and go to Starbucks on my work days.

Life changed in January. I have worked a total of 28 days since January 17th. I'm on Long Term Disability now. Then they closed the Starbucks that we used to walk to at work. Those were major dilemmas for a new coffee drinker!

Because of my health issues I changed my diet in April to a Keto diet. That affected my coffee. There is something called Bullet Proof Coffee. There is definitely more than one way to make it but I didn't like any of them. The point is to add tons of fat to your coffee. Things like heavy cream, butter, MCT oil, coconut oil. I didn't have MCT oil but I had the rest so I added butter, heavy cream and coconut oil. Gross! I felt like someone said to themselves, "How can I make coffee nastier than it already is?" What I did do was trade my almond milk for heavy cream and my Splenda for liquid sucralose and my coffee had evolved. In fact I liked it better. Heavy cream is yummy.

I had another coffee upset later that month. I went to a Starbucks in Arizona. It was late April so it was already in the 90s. I asked the barrista to put ice in my coffee and she asked if I wanted an iced coffee. What? My coffee education continues? What is an iced coffee. She said it was coffee with ice in it. So I said yes. I would like an iced coffee with heavy cream. I loved that first one. I later learned it was so good because of something called Classic that they squirt in that is loaded with sugar. So, then I had to ask for an Iced Coffee, Heavy Cream, No Classic and then add my Splenda and Cinnamon. Whew!

So, that is what I have been enjoying for the last 5 months. Until now. I am dropping my Heavy Cream. 😿 The same doctor recommended the Low FODMAP diet for my Irritable Bowel Syndrome last year. I was not willing to got that far at the time. Things have gotten bad enough now that I am ready. No more cream.

So, now I drink 15 ounces of black coffee with ice, sucralose drops and Cinnamon every day. I actually enjoy it. It is no longer a chore. It was definitely better with the cream but health is my goal. It is not bullet proof but it is also not a sugary concoction so I think I am doing well.